Sunday, July 22, 2007

Silliness


Children are amazing, they live in the moment with no regrets of yesterday and no worries about tomorrow. They are simply in the here and now. They don't give a thought to what other people think of them, whether they're fashionable, if they're attractive, will the bills get paid. The only moment that matters is the present.

To me the most beautiful sound is that of laughter. It has a musical melody all its own, genuine, sweet and dreamy. I love the way kids laugh, loud and sincere. I love the way they will repeat the same thing over and over again hoping to get a laugh every time. They are silly and care-free. They fly with capes made of sheets, dance with dolls, talk on paper cup phones, skip like stones on the water. They are astronauts and sea captains and super heroes. They appreciate silly things and even the smallest absurdity will have them in stitches.

Then as we age it seems we throw off that silly spirit a little at a time, being "grown-ups" as we are told to be. Life becomes serious. We have jobs to do and bills to pay and responsibilities. We become more aware of the outside world and worry about everything, especially things we have little or no control over. Society tells us to be adults and take everything seriously. No time to laugh and sing anymore as we become adults and the weight of the world is pressed onto our shoulders. We are to be responsible and serious at all times.

I work in the medical field, 40 hours a week as a medical transcriptionist. It's serious work and sometimes even after over 20 years it can still be emotional and depressing. On top of dealing with the issues that come from being part of a very dysfunctional family I used to watch the news at night trying to keep up with world. I became depressed, angry and resentful before I realized I was draining the joy out of my life and replacing it with the seriousness of the world.

It was this realization that made me want to change the direction of my life. I wasn't unhappy but I wasn't happy and it was hard to find joy in anything. That's when I started to dance again, playing the stereo full blast, rockin' to Aerosmith or Boston or whatever I could dance to. I stopped watching the news and started watching the silly buddy films my son watches. They are pure nonsense and fun and too often I've found myself gasping for air as I choke with laughter. Now I must warn you, I snort when I laugh and I laugh very loudly and I've been known to clear out a restaurant or two for laughing too loudly because I offended someone who thought it wasn't ladylike. Like I care!

Since giving myself permission to lighten up and enjoy life I feel better than I have in a long time. I still work full-time and am a responsible adult, but I take more time out to dance and play games with my son and enjoy the moment. I dressed up as the Sugar Plum Fairy for Halloween, pink wings and tiara and a tutu, the works, and once again could be a little dreaming princess again. I love outrageous people who live life to the fullest and I surround myself with them. I've also learned what a wickedly whacked person I am, and although sometimes I have to sacrifice my dignity it is freeing and emotionally uplifting to let go and let the grown-up world slip away as I dance in the rain, sing in the shower or slide down a Slip-N-Slide with a snow cone!

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1 comment:

Rosei said...

Dear Beverly, hello!!! Oh, I do miss you, my diamond :) I want to thank you so much for the lovely award and apologize for long time it took me to get back to you. Hope everything is fine over there!!

Huge hugs!
Rosei